Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
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