I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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