Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
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