I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
You can't motorboat a personality
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize