Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
