Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
