Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I am naked and annoyed.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize