And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
as a side note pls kill me
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
