I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize
