apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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