What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
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