So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
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