My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
It's never too late to be topless.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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