Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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