Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
