omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
