It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
