So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
