3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
