The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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