My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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