you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
