I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Randomize
