You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Randomize
