She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
