Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Randomize
