I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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