so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
We need to feng shui this bitch.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
