Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
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