i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
