dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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