Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
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