Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
