Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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