too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
