So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
