Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize