I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
