I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
