Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
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