I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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