she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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