I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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