I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize