Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
