you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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