So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
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