Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
