My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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