i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
