This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Randomize
