I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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