no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize