nut hugger
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
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