He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
