Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
