she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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