Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
I had to cum in my sink.
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