Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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