drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Randomize
