is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
