dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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