I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
