the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
