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you mean i was at the winter classic?
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Randomize