It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Randomize
