I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize