she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
