Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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