Just fell off a train. Bad.
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
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