My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
