My balls are so social today.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
